Anyway.
I think I haven't written any "omg it's the new year!" shtuff yet because, to be honest, I'm really not all that jazzed about this year so far. Last year was a good one for me. I learned a lot, grew up in some important ways, had some amazing experiences. I was sad to say goodbye to 2009. 2010 has thus far been... unimpressive.
But it's good, you know; I'm truckin' along. I'm back writing at the Daily, and designing thrice a week (I call it a good day if I get to use that word), so that's fun. Still, though. It's hard to get excited about publishing stories in the Daily, after the Seattle Times. Does that make me a cocky bastard who's upset about being a has-been? You bet.
Classes are good - 2 out of 3, anyway. I love my Spanish drama class and don't know how I've survived without any form of theater for the past 3 years. Econ is cool - I didn't think I'd like it, but it's really just common sense that I've never thought of before. Honors is...honorsy. Pretentious dicks. Stupid abstract coursework. Freshmen.
And last and least of my activities....church! Hmm. I don't like it. I don't care about it. I want to get out of everything I'm involved in. I still want to go on the Dominican trip, but only because I want to speak Spanish, go somewhere warm and get tan.
It's depressing. What's more depressing is the self-pitying thought that I have maybe 1 or 2 true friends in the entire Inn. There are about 70 people on Student Leadership alone that I should be able to call friends. But I feel like...if I didn't show up to church stuff, no one would ask, "Hey, where's Molly?" I'm not crucial.
On top of that, a requirement of being in Student Leadership is that you join a core group. I hate mine. I love the girls in it, but our leader makes me feel like I'm back in 3rd grade Sunday school. Everyone knows I'm opinionated and always right, yeah? Well, she doesn't. To say we butt heads is a pleasant-sounding understatement.
So that's rough right now. I feel myself pulling away, but forced to maintain a pretense of being super involved. That's not how it should be. I should be in a core group, on Student Leadership, going to the DR because I want to. A relationship with God should never be the result of a program requirement.
On a happier note, I've had Chipotle 3 times in the past 5 days. Awesome? You betcha. Tres tacos para llevar, por favor. Barbacoa. Tomates. Crema y mucho queso. Gracias.
Love always,
molly
3 comments:
so this visit to Seattle....any chance that you picked up the skill of teleportation during your semester abroad or intership? cuz I'm pretty sure that we could use a visit time right about now. :/
and you wouldn't be Mollasaurus if you weren't a cocky bastard. and I write that with confidence as you know I mean it with all the love in my little heart.
you + me + Seattle = soon.
I'm sorry about your church group. I was really startled when I first read what you had to say about it... but you're right. Don't let people you don't get along with ruin your relationship with God. They're not required. From my understanding, He's the only one that matters.
But maybe you should consider switching churches if it's really that bad?
hi. just thought you should know that i love you. and agree with Sammi. God is much more important than "church"... remember that :)
Post a Comment