First off: I refuse to cry at work.
But with a combination of exhaustion and stress and discouragement, it's a close call.
So I've been working on this story for the past month. Pretty investigative, at least compared to everything else I've done. And it was exciting for that reason - lots of information, lots of angles, lots of stress, but exciting.
Now, the story's written, with a conclusion and everything, but I need one more confirmation from an outside source that what the other source has told me is true.
That last source is in China.
Nor do I speak Chinese.
And when I presented this problem to my editor, he said, "I don't know what to tell you. You have to get through somehow, or we can't run it."
I've never felt so inadequate and hopeless and stupid in a newspaper setting before. I was doing so well - I was pwning! And now, I'm just...failing.
I don't like it.
2 months ago