the heart of life

Oh, blogging. Wonder when I'll give this up. Probably never, actually; I write to think, when there's no one around to talk to.

So I'm now 3 weeks into my new job. Not internship, but job...still getting my head around that. I'm worried about the work I'm doing, because I do still have that intern mindset - thinking that people are just going to hand me stories and tell me where to go, instead of me having to figure it out on my own. Gotta snap out of it, boy.

The job is good, though. The first week and a half I wrote something almost every day, and they all got picked up by the Seattle Times, which is cool. My landlady (who's more like a host mom than just someone I rent a room from, bless her) and her sweetheart leave newspaper clippings outside my door when they find my stories in the Olympian. "Great job Molly!" they write in Sharpie. It's a good feeling.

And the job is not as scary as I thought it would be. I'm still lacking the institutional knowledge, and I still don't recognize all the senators/representatives on sight, but it's getting easier. Also, senators/representatives are not as imposing or impressive as I thought they would be. They're almost all very nice people, and talking to them isn't intimidating, but it's a little weird to find out that they're just...normal people. And that they don't really know everything they ought to about the bills they sponsor. But hey - they should be allowed to be normal.

Olympia is...okay. The weather is tough. It's rainier and gloomier than Seattle, which is saying something. And I don't like driving in the rain, because my windshield wipers are not that effective and it scares me when I can't see clearly in front of me. But the town is okay; there's a Trader Joe's, and a nice mall, and lots of cute little restaurants downtown - and CHEAP parking downtown, too, which is awesome. And I found the Warehouse Rock Gym and have gone climbing a few times, and the people there are really cool and friendly - as all climbers are. Once I get paid again, I'm hoping to buy the season pass so it's cheaper to go often.

Getting paid is awesome. Immediately watching all that money disappear is not. Rent in Olympia, rent in Seattle, fixing my poor little deathtrap of a car, gas, groceries...whew. I liked it when real grown-ups paid for everything. I think I've been molly-coddled too long (hehe love that word).

It's been fun and fairly easy coming home every weekend. (Seattle as home now? It's weird. But I need it to be; that's why I'm hoping to keep my room in Seattle. Olympia cannot be home; I'm not resigned to that yet. For emotional stability, I'm willing to pay extra.) Last weekend, I drove with Sang up to Bellingham to do the climbing competition at Western. Super super fun. I was kind of freaking out beforehand, because I'm not good enough to be competitive, but it was a gerat experience. And I got 8th out of 21 in the beginner category for women, AND I won a sweet REI backpack in a raffle! And watch some incredible athletes compete. So good day all around.

And the loneliness is wearing off. G-chat helps; Skype helps; calling people helps. I need to borrow/buy more good books, because that would really help. Again, I wish it weren't raining all the time; my house where I'm renting is right by a lake, and I would love to go explore and find out which birds are making all that beautiful racket. It's still hard, mostly when I remind myself of what I'm doing - living away from everyone (yet again) and trying to be a grown-up - but I'm settling in. And weekends fall awfully close together, which makes it easier. Church in Seattle is a good thing, too.

As always, listening to that Brett Dennen song a lot. "'Cause it won't last; your worries'll pass; all your troubles, they don't stand a chance. Sometimes it takes more than a lifetime to know: Darlin', do not fear what you don't really know."

Love always,
molly