remedial

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future."

Why do I forget this so, so often?

I want to know the truth of that verse - it's been my favorite verse for my whole life, almost, and it's been proven again and again; things have worked out for the best on three different continents so far. But I'm still forgetful. Still doubting. Still afraid.

I submitted applications for two AP openings tonight. One in Olympia for 15 weeks, the other in Boise. I don't have any legislative experience, so it's probably a long shot anyway, but at the same time, I've built up a pretty damn good resume over the past three years. They could hire me.

And then what? Find someone to take my tiny closet of a room in Seattle and hope that I don't have to pay any extra rent; find a place to live in Olympia or Boise; find a car; figure out how to cover a legislative session for a wire and impress the people who could determine the course of my career.

Pack up and leave yet again.

I know that at the end of this summer, I said I was going to change my mindset. I even put it on my Facebook, so sure was I that I had figured something out: "I'm never leaving anywhere - I'm just always going places." That means there's no hub, no home; just a path, always moving forward. And it's all very well to be Zen and cool with everything in theory, but in practice, I'm just scared, sad and lonely at the prospect.

"So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Courage, dear heart.

Love always,
molly

I know she loves the sunrise

Hey, update time!

1.) I'm DONE WITH SCHOOL FOREVER! Yikes. It's terrifying and exhilarating and unbelievable, but it finally happened. There's a remote chance I could go back to grad school in 10 years or more, if I ever get tired of the traveling life that I'm still envisioning for myself, but I don't think it's very likely. So, yes. No more pencils, no more books. FREEDOMMMM!

2.) There are two or three positions that I need to apply for like, yesterday. Yikes again. The Yakima Herald is looking for a bilingual, enterprising reporter, and the AP has a 3-month opening covering the legislative session in Boise. The AP is my dream company at this point. I had a great interview with them back in October, but then they called a couple weeks ago to inform me that they're discontinuing their internship program. Damn! But maybe there will be a spot opening up in Washington. I hope so.

2b.) These are all hypothetical. I'm currently set to continue as development editor for the Daily at UW (you can work as a student employee for one quarter after you graduate), trainin' up the newbs, and I think I'm managing our U-District blog site, as well. And designing. I just want to stick around - the Daily's been home for three years now. It's been good for me.

3.) I'm dating this really cool guy named Sang. Like, really cool. Like crazy awesome ridiculously cool. He's a pro photographer and photojournalist - check out this and this if you don't believe me - and a studly climber to boot. He came and visited Richland for approx. 31 hours, which is nowhere near long enough, but it was fun nonetheless. Climbing at the Court Club, homemade chocolate peanut butter bon bons (aka HEAVEN), Planet Earth and Big Bang Theory and my whole family wholeheartedly approves. Pretty solid for a day and a half.

4.) 2010's almost over. It's been a much better year than 2009. Future's looking big and bright - scary as hell, but it'd be boring otherwise, right?

Love always,
molly